Tuesday, June 26, 2012

You give me so much pain....

* You make me go insane...you give me so much pain...*

For this past week something has triggered my old pain memories..Suddenly his view entering my mind again when i think i already threw that feeling away. And make me realized that i'm still missing him...

Ah, my effort for this few years crash...Please, save me from this sorrow again.
Almost 6 tahun to chase away the feeling..and in that time jugakla i shut the door to my heart.

He toyed with my innocent heart..

How would u responsible about chaos u made in my heart? How do u stick back the broken heart? What  will u do so that i can love again?
You choose the wrong person to play la... T_T



"It still hasn't hit me yet about you
The promises we made are gone with the wind
The only remaining thing is your cold eyes
Like a wretch, I still miss your smile
I hate myself for that - 
I still can't acknowledge that it's the end for you and me "

~BTOB: Insane Lyric~


Friday, May 25, 2012

Nafas terakhir dalam dakapanku

Title sentimental...lantak..org tengah berduka ni.. T_T

Tak kusangka...jodoh kami tak panjang... Jal mothaeseo..mianhae woori aegi.
Air mata mencurah-curah bak waterfall..tido mlm pun berteman air mata. time driving pun terbayang-bayang...tgh mkn pun leh meleleh air mata ni..

TERKILAN..hanya 1 ungkapan yg dpt aku luahkan. kalaulah kami cepat....kalaulah aku lebih peka & berhati-hati.. Ya, aku kurang pengetahuan...very minimum knowledge of how to take care of her..

Baeky...yg mana baek juga membawa makna putih dlm bahasa korea. Adik yg bagi nama ni. Baru lebih kurang sebulan aku beli Y~ong & Baeky.. Cinta pandang pertama.. Agreed to take turn jaga with my sis.




        Y~ong.... sgtla buas. semua benda dia bedal.. Lengan aku pun dia ngap.
Suka-suki dia je. selalu buli Baeky..tp very manja gak dgn Baeky. Main2..then landing sebelah Baeky..or kdg2 give her hug..
                               

Baeky.. Very shy and passive. Bulu punyala gebu sampai mata tak nampak.  . Rela je kena buli dgn Y~ong.


Namun..no more gebu-gebu... Even since awal2 lagi she's little bit unwell tapi still survive.. Tapi semalam..dunno why, suddenly kena diarrhea. I thought nnti ok la sbb before ni pun dia ada problem camtu sikit.. Tapi bila dah petang, mama kata dia dh makin teruk. Balik je keja aku tengok dia dah lembik, nak angkat kepala pun dah lemah longlai..Try to give her glucose on vet's advice but she refused..Nak cari vet mana memalam dah ni..klinik pun dah tutup.. And as i was cleaning her feet..suddenly dia senyap je..dada dah tak berombak. kuit-kuit dia kot2 lena ke, pengsan ke..senyap gak.. dah rasa ada air panas bergenang kat mata... Berjurai terus air mata bila mama kata.."Kak, dia takdak dah"...Tak percaya..berkali-kali aku belek dia. Still senyap...badan dah sejuk and kaki dah kejang.. Finally..her last breath in my arms. Sungguh, aku and mama sikit terkilan sebab tak sempat hantar dia jumpa vet. I still checked if she's still breathing till the time to bury her..with little hope she's still alive...


Farewell, our little Baeky





Sunday, May 20, 2012

I like different

Tengok The Avengers 3 minggu lepas membuatkan aku terfikir lak sikit...It seams there's quite a time that i like it differently when it come to person/ celebrity/interest and whatsoever..Taste aku pelik ke...hahaha..

Ok, in term of hmm..lets say celebrity..
First skali SUJU..aku ingat lagi bila zam beria-ria introduce Siwon yg hensem macho habis and Heechul yg super cantik cam Natasha hudson..indeed I fall for Hankyung the chinese guy yg average je in look..however wins me with his dance skill.

And dlm the avengers..when others really into tony stark or captain america..I choose the Barton guy..Hawkeye. So cool outfit and archery skill..Oh my..^drooling^
So HOT!!!!!!!!!!!

I like Jaejin more instead of Hongki in FT Island,
Wooyoung over Nichkhun in 2PM,
The old wrinkle Nick Stokes in CSI:Vegas..hehehe..I like him since mula2 aku berjinak2 dgn CSI few years ago, and also Horatio Caine in CSI:Miami..slalu je dgn sunglass dia n senget2 kepala bila investigate...hahaha..Funny lak..serta Dr. Reid dlm Criminal Minds..Suka tgk bila dia start talking 2 explain..wow, the speed..could be a good rapper..
Sunggyu of Infinite instead L yg ramai gila peminat sbb he's such a good looking.

Well, nampaknya aku just suka someone with less popularity..heheheeeee..and of course we people would have different interest..We all human tapi hati lain-lain..mesti thinking and likeness pun lain-lain..
Just like how i prefer rock music over ballad when ladies normally like soft music. Rasanya, i'm just being in different interest..isn't it?  hehehehe..

Tic Toc

Tic Toc...time flies really fast.. dah almost setengah tahun 2012..
Now, it's been a year already for me working at this company. Happy 1st anniversary!! eleh Aliaa...perlu ke?? org keja 2-3 tahun tak kecoh pun.

However, there's few time i feel like quitting already because there's someone that really give me headache..simptom2 tekanan perasaan bertalu-talu melanda diri. But i survive...sedaya upaya tabahkan hati kerana aku mau ilmu dan pengalaman. Aku takmau dicop setahun jagung dengan berpindah-randah tempat. Selagi aku terdaya survive..I will survive. This company give me lots of chances for experiencing something new to me..I like the environment..i like my boss because we sort of having few same characteristics..But that one person really tensed me..annoying. I love my saturday working turn when that person not around..hehe..sounds evil right!! :-P

Anyway, for now i'll just cope with what i can withstand.

With time's ticking..so do my age.. macam lirik lagu..'tua mengejar...'
Hmm ...there's something bothering me..well, aku leh relax lagi tapi.. tapi my mom...she's worried that i don't have someone special yet.. Relax la ma..Take it slowly..I'm making friend right now..Someone not ordinary however not special yet..for now. I'm enjoying my single life so much right now.. still banyak lagi aku nak buat. Ok, i give myself up to 2 years more in finding 'him'.. So just wait a little while ye..


And right now, there's a plan that popped up in my mind..Still just a plan in mind..SO, wait till i have REAL PLAN. It's related to my previous dream..just little bit different concept.. Hmm...

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Apabila cinta itu menjadi lebih

"Gadis lari dari rumah"

Astaghfirullah al azim....^geleng kepala^

Banyak betul kisah lari dari rumah kluar suratkhabar kebelakangan ni.. Remaja perempuan belasan tahun lari dari rumah, dengan alasan yg cukup mudah serta bodoh dan bangang..ha..sorila kasar bahasa.. 'Lari ikut teman lelaki', 'tekanan emosi', 'tertekan' la...Ah, alasan bodoh.

Wahai adik2 ku..kenapakah???

Inilah akibatnya apabila cinta pada manusia menjadi lebih..apabila cinta hakiki tidak lagi menjadi keutamaan.
Remaja belasan tahun tu mungkin belum matang tapi teman lelaki yg dah 20-30 tahun tu akai takdak ka??? Memang dasar manusia kalah pada tuntutan nafsu dan hasutan iblis laknatullah.. Sepatutnya sebagai lelaki dewasa bagila nasihat and hantar budak2 tu balik kat family dia, bukannya syok simpan kat rumah.. Be*****g!!
Yang budak2 sekarang pun awatla beremosi sangat..fikir baik2 dulu sebelum buat apa2..mak bapak tegur sikit,tarik muka pastu lari dari rumah..Spoilt brat!!
Cuba fikir baik2 dulu..then baru sedar the truth behind your parents words. Faham..teen ages is the state of searching and rebellion..Aku pun pernah lalu la..Goyah pegangan confirm leh hanyut..Sebab itu we must hold tight to our creator, jangan biarkan nafsu merajai hati..understand what's right and wrong..make wise decision..

Allah S.W.T tidak melarang manusia mempunyai rasa cinta sesama manusia tetapi cinta itu menjadi salah dan mudarat apabila kita menjadi terpesong kerananya..sehingga sanggup meminggirkan keluarga, mengabaikan tanggungjawab, menjadi hamba cinta yang hanya sementara itu..


"Cintailah seseorang itu kerana Allah"


Friday, March 23, 2012

Ear Fun

Sebulan 2 sebelum ni sangatla ketandusan lagu2 baru untuk playlist tapi now..nah, amek kau.. bersepah lagu2 baru yang masuk playlist fave aku..

1) carta no 1 harusla from CN Blue.. single jepun depa yg gempak : 'Where you are'.. x baru sgt tp boleh la.
Then, lagu dri mini album korea..Full mini album blom kluar, 27/3 nanti baru kluar..Album tajuk "EAR FUN" and single yg dah kluar tajuk 'Still in Love'. Yay, ajik sahranghanda woori CN Blue ^heart^

2)Debut song group baru NU'EST tjuk 'Face'. Nice melody... and 1 of the members bikin aku terbeliak bijik mata.. melampaunya jambu. ada gender conflict kah???hahaha..
Ala-ala mix U-Kiss Kevin & Miss A Jia

3) Lagu from maknae SuJu..Kyuhyun.. soundtrack tuk drama God of War..dgn tajuk INOO(Rain of Blades)..super mahsyuk!!!! cannot deny la, Kyuhyun punya suara memang sedap.

4) 2nd song from Gavy NJ yg buat aku non stop dengar lepas Cup Of Latte.. this time with title "Are you still a man" feat Shorry J(Mighty Mouth)
    Oh my..i really like this song..Caya la Gavy NJ. Suara and lagu memang sedap.. depa bukan sekadar tayang muka and body, gedik2 menari seksi... ^that's why i like band like CN Blue & FT Island..truly musician :D^

5)'The time is over' by B1A4..the group is not really my favor sbb group ni agak baru  plus lagu2 depa not my genre. Anyway, this song quite ok to my ears..so layan la.

6) OST drama The moon that embraces the sun from Kim Soo Hyun with title "Only You".

Serta few lagu lama yang become new to me....

~ One of First wives club OST.. "I will take care of you" from Eru..
~Feast of the gods OST.."Did you forget" by Lee Seung Chul
~Remake of Chae Yeon "Two of us"...by Kang Min Kyung on Immortal Songs 2

Monday, January 23, 2012

This is war

Hmm..lately takda lagu best nak layan. Lama gak aku tak update folder dlm ipod tu.

Tunggu bulan 2 nanti la CN Blue release lagu baru.

Nway, before tu leh la layan lagu MBlaq dulu. Not bad la... tajuk This is war.

LAGU

VIDEO


Lee Joon sangat cool..from MV Oh Yeah, Y, Monalisa and even This is war.
Character serial killer ke, penjahat ka...yg serius2 semua nampak ngam dengan dia.. Eventhough the reality...pabo...hahaha..bendul. Mir's image quite good this time..totally diff and really can distinguish him from Hongki. I'm quite liking Thunder's part in the song. G.O of course never dissapoint with his performance. As for SeungHo..I'm not liking his short hair.

The old days

Terbaca kisah cruise karam kat paper semalam and tertengok gak muvie Leonardo DiCaprio kat HBO mengimbau balik memori aku berkenaan Titanic ni.. 15 years ago.. Muvie Titanic yg meletop gila..I think ramai kawan2 sebaya dulu memang asyik sebut2 la. I am..one of many young girls yg ter'fall' in love melampau kat Leonardo masa tu.. Dgn rambut belah tengah yg kira hensem habis la. Segala magazine yg ada gambo dia semua aku tibai beli. Sanggup ikat perut semata2 nak kumpul gambo dia...hahaha..sangat la tak matang.
Tapi, the funny thing is I never watch Titanic at that time until few years later...hahaha..Dulu2 ada video tape ja. Yg kena sewa kat kedai 2-3 ringgit kot x salah aku. Nak sewa sendiri takleh, budak x cukup umo..Nak suruh baba sewa segan..pasai crita cintan2 ni. Slalu baba sewa crita cina kungfu2 ja bagi aku..ngeh3..pasai tu fave aku.

Disebabkan syok tahap max kat Leo, aku pon ter'admire' sorang budak laki kat kelas mengaji. Ada can jumpa kat kelas mengaji ja pasai skolah lain2. Budak ni tua stahun drpd aku..Muka kira ensem la bagi level kanak2..hehe..putih melepak and paling menarik sebab rambut belah tengah Leonardo dia tu...hahaha..ambik kau, Leonardo punya pasai. Budak ni suara dia sedap sgt. Slalu jadi main vocal nasyid kat Fardhu Ain aku tu. Slalu aku tertunggu2 dia azan masuk waktu Asar..Lunak betul. Nama pon sedap...pendek kata budak lelaki pujaan ramai la...hahaha..sungguh kanak2 time tu.

Tapi, 1 ja slack skit yg bikin aku tensen dgn dia. Nakal x hengat..kena lak seat dia betul2 dpn aku. Slalu la kena usik dgn dia..t'masuk la kes obses mlampau aku kat Titanic...hahaha..pastu slalu kena pau sgala macam pensel la, pemadam la..apa! tak reti bawak sendiri ka. Tapi..marah2 pon dalam hati suka sebenarnya. Because seems like I got his attention....hehehe..gatai.

Anyway..pas je dia darjah 6..tak penah jumpa lagi dah. Tapi, few years lepas..masa zaman friendster kot..aku ada terjumpa friendster dia.. But,years do changes appearance..He looked a little bit chubby at that time. skarang tatau la.

Dear Mr 'Leo', thank you for being a piece of my memories. Make me laugh when thinking how immature I am. Please be happy and healthy always.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Wishes

"WELCOME 2012"

Better late than never. I'm one week late in welcoming new year.
Ok! What i'm gonna do in this year? Did all my resolutions for last year covered?
Nampaknya kena carry forward this year la.

There's so many things I want and need to do. Of course wishing for better fortune in life.

First of all, Syukur ALHAMDULILLAH i'm not jobless..eventhough there's some disatisfying factors. I see chances for elevating and improving..yet still long way to go. I'm thanked that this job fits my qualification. However the time really kills me. Being a single lady living with parents, i still can manage lifestyle for now..with all that long working hours. But..seeing the future,when i have my own family..my life could be wrecked. It's already quite late off from work, then driving home for quite a time..reaching home in very tired state...where I think i couldn't carry my role as wife and mother properly. To be simplified..WORKAHOLIC. Thus, i'll need a new job with more comfortable hour..later.

If we were to talked about dreams..rasanya semua orang ada dreams atau impian. Dare to dream because everything starts from dreaming. It's like setting a goal..then you have to work it out to make the dream come true. I do have a dream..In fact this idea come from few my bestest friends. We intended to collaborate in opening a bistro..that serve high class feels but with very affordable cost. Yes, I want to have it like that. I want to change perception that only orang kaya can makan-makan at exclusive restaurant. I want to give chances..and I want to provide assurance for muslims to eat at places like these. As now we know that too many franchises, kopitiams and bakeries are facing the Halal issue. Aku sendiri pun frust bila tak leh makan kat certain tempat sebab ragu2 dengan status halal. Ok,i need to work with this dream..please help me with strong will and courage in making it reality. INSYAALLAH

Then, i also need to find a piece of my heart that's still missing. Come on Leyya..it's already been years to still be grieving..Step out from that sad and dark feeling. In fact I left the broken heart already..tapi there's still little scar inside. Seeing many of my friends are getting engaged, married and even have babies..sometime do touch some feeling inside me. Seeing how they have moved to the next phase in their life..yet I'm still here..Grieving..alone..Stupid huh!!!It seems i haven't meet a man that can ignite the spark in my heart again. Encik..pakai lighter power skit ek..ngeeeeee. Tukar spark plug baru ke..Hah, ok dah meraban ni.


Ok, hope I'll be a better person..leading a better life in a better way. Hoping everthing would be better. Nope, not better,GREAT!!! Let me become greedy for these, Ok!